She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Randomize
