i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
