Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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