I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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