Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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