how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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