i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
