just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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