I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
