You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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