Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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