she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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