and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
