Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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