Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
