The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
