white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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