it wasn't lemon gatorade
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize