Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize