All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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