I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
