Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
