Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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