i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
