I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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