you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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