I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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