I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize