he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
