I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
