Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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