its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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