he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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