I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
