I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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