He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
