just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
