Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
