why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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