Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
