Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
