Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
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