She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
