What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
