I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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