I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just pee around me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
