so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are we still banned from the library?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
