whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize