I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
