dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
