i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
sex in a hospital.. check
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
