his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
