And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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