giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
