ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
