How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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