He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
did i walk over a car last night?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
