If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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