i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
