so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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