The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
