Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
