IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
