i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
