dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
