The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
where am i from again
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
