Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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