I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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