at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
