Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
